My Marathon. My Love. My Work. My Life.

26.2 miles.  Running.  I ran that.  I ran that!!  I ran that in 3 hours and 28 minutes.  I ran it alone.  I ran it with everyone.  I ran and I learned.  Here's all the beautiful factors that accompanied a tired pair of legs....

Everyone at the starting line of a Marathon undoubtedly has a profound purpose for being there be it physical or metaphysical.  Purposes can range from elite runners making a P.R.; running for a lost loved one; running for fitness; running due to a bet, anything.  But, no matter what provokes one to strap the timing chip to their stability shoes, nothing changes the fact that you're going to be stuck running.  For a long time.  That early morning race revelation can send even the best spirited folks spiraling into a panic.

My spiral at the first few steps of 26.2 mi proposed a popular question, "How do I finish and not disappoint anyone?"  After all, I had so much riding on these race results.  I had runs with my 3 yr old son in the jog stroller instead of reading to him to justify.  I had expectations from my clients.  I had expectations from my coach and colleagues.  I had a "race pace" I felt appropriate for my level I needed to maintain.  I was a mess.  I know better than to lay these kinds of heavy performance blankets on my back before a race (as they were totally self-inflicted nobody else holds me to such ideals)....but I'm human and couldn't help it.  God forbid I just 'finish' the race. Or not to mention maybe enjoy it. 

Then to my joy something amazing happened.  An utter calm washed over me.  A calm telling me that yes I'm going to be running for a long time.  But I love running.  And I don't have to go fast.  Or hurt.  I just have to keep moving forward.  For me often in my life, the only rule I needed to follow was to avoid being stagnant.  "Stasis is death" I tell my clients all the time.  I will move.  Steadily. 

So I was thrown back into freshly tapered leg happiness and I soon found myself needing to harness the ache to run fast and hard.  My coach Cyndee Platko's advice echoed in my mind "hold off til mile 18."  Ya well mile 18 is like forever from now lady.  So I had to be patient.  I had to get comfortable with moving slower than I would have prefered.  I couldn't get my instant gratification.  The endorphins would have to wait.  I had to stick with a higher plan and hold back.  I hated that. 

It's okay.  I would take this race chunk by chunk.  I would chip away at the ultimate prize and increase my intensity and speed the closer that I came upon the finish.  The next 10k I dedicated to my legs.  I kept it conservative yet productive.  All endurance athletes need to cherish their finely tuned machines that are their bodies and I decided to give my legs the respect they deserved.  8 min mile was their happy place. 

The next grip of mileage I dedicated to my clients.  Mile 16 was when I started feeling the familiar fatigue in my mind and body tempting me to give in to cramps or sub race pace.  I ask my clients to work diligently on all aspects of their wellness at all times no matter what circumstances because they deserve that.  I deserved to run at my optimum capacity.  I trained for it.  I was strong enough.  And somehow my feet kept turning themselves over as if they knew their fate much better than myself.  It was then that I high fived a woman running with one real leg and one prosthetic. 

Mile 22 on was a blur.  Pain and numbness happened simultaneously.  That is possible trust me.  I was hurting.  I longed for that original feeling I had 3 hours ago to 'hold back'.  It was long gone.  But I did not have to look far for an arena from which to draw strength for this last haul.  My son has endless energy.  I pretended like I had that.  His legs never stop.  Neither did mine.  I also revisited the time in my life of being a single mom building my business.  I would work, breastfeed, work some more all to the music of 12 hours a day.  Who knows from where that energy derived other than just the need to survive.  Then there's my loyal and loving boyfriend who would not only walk to the end of the earth for me, but drove me to the Marathon in the first place.  I visualized running to the end of the earth for him and our life together.  I wanted to finish strong for him.  I wanted to let him and my son know that amongst all adversity, I would be strong in the finish. 

So it appears as though I'm one of those narcissistic endurance athletes.  I posted my run time for the public.  Jeez I can't believe that.  But I have to!  It's as though I was driven to write this by the same force that drives me to run.   I have to share the love so to speak.  I have to let anyone willing to listen know that running is not all an aesthetic or athletic driven endeavor.  There are so many positive parallels to life that running may unveil.  Go discover yours.  And do so steadily with love.