You're not human if you've never experienced days, weeks, months or even years where the edges of the world seem to be folding in on you. Times when there seems to be no hope and certainly no happiness. I can confidently say that everyone has had periods of frustration and anger that no breathing technique, no quiet space, and no shoulder of a friend will ease. You've had them and will undoubtedly have more. This bleak and dark truth is not pointed out to ruin anyone's day, but rather to be recognized and embraced. The reason is because I feel I have a different kind of proverbial shoulder to cry on in the future for you all. This shoulder comes in the form of running.
My whole body shook last Thursday night I was so upset. Anyone in my way would have been better coming across Stephen King's 'Cujo' than the likes of my foaming of the mouth. I bundled up my confused 4 yr old (Mama's usually a cool cucumber at night due to general fatigue from a 3am daily start) and tried not to literally throw him in our running stroller. I had no Garmin, the wrong shoes, and no fuel other than my emotions and a stale snack for Luke.
Within minutes the rotation of the earth had changed. I was on the mend. I screamed at the world and no one answered except the road. Or in my case a hilly Boulder City path wrapped it's inclines around and over me and told me all was ok. With my head cool enough at that point I was able to contemplate how I was once again comforted by running. Why?! Running didn't have any real answers to my problems conveniently layed out on the path. Running didn't sit me on a couch and listen to my childhood growing pains. And how insane the irony of running being one of the greatest physical stresses on the body, it's also the most emotionally rehabilitative. These truths move me (no pun intended) to such a degree it's safe to say I could make this all a religion.
There will come another rough day for everyone. This will be the day when we must surrender to the urge to literally run away from it all. Once on the road to a better attitude, keep in mind some of these additional positives from running on emotions:
- You're getting more oxygen to your brain which provokes clarity and ideas. This may help to remedy your original stressed disposition (I often solve the world's problems on a run).
- You're creating more and more good mood endorphins with every step.
- Your heart is getting stronger.
- Your legs are getting stronger.
- Upon completion, you can whole heartedly remind yourself that your strength moved you forward during a time you wanted to disappear and cry. Or give up. But you didn't.
Then you get to tell yourself....
"If I can get through this period with this level of tenacity, I can get through anything."
Allow your legs to do the screaming your heart and soul cannot express. Place one foot in front of the other at all costs. Emerge on the other side stronger than ever.
i want to take your advise and run away and never see this dull house or anything about it again. i never liked living here and my mom causes more and more problems for me daily. now that im older i have my life outside i rarely actually come home except for school days because thats how i grew up, but i hate my school and i hate my house more than anything. she's been making me stay here for weeks and now she says i have to stay for months without leaving. she took away my life and expects me to just smile and get that sense of euphoria from being home "home, oh sweet home" is bullshit to me i hate the thought of going home i think I'm going to run away but I'm not sure how long it'll last. i know it definitely wont be this addicting drug everyone on my searches have said it ways because i have a pretty strong will. i hope I'm doing the right thing here... what do you think?
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